I have a big birthday coming up very soon and, yes, it does have me feeling a lot of different emotions around it. That being said, I’ve never really been one to care about age. After all, it’s just a number. We are all on different paths with different life lessons coming at us at different times. However, what struck me lately is how much other people, or society in general, seems to want me to feel bad about getting older. Perhaps this is unconscious influence, but the pressure from outside of myself to either be ‘perfect’ or to now settle is massive. It’s as if we must all have our fun and chase our dreams by a certain age, and then once an arbitrary line is crossed, the only things we can celebrate are antiquated (and often patriarchal) notions of what an ideal life is supposed to look like — even if that isn’t what we really want for ourselves. So what does all this have to do with creativity? Don’t worry, I’m getting to it.
Recently, an old work acquaintance of mine shared a meme on facebook that thumbed its nose at all those 30 under 30 lists, or 40 under 40, or whatever. This person is much older than I am and recently got their PhD in their 60s — a big accomplishment for them that was celebrated. They are also a novelist, world traveller, and accomplished teacher. In other words, they are totally rocking at living a fun, fulfilling, and creative life, but have aged out of ever appearing on any of those silly lists. So why do we even make them? Wouldn’t we rather hear stories from those with more life experience anyway? At the very least, it would be ridiculous to value an artwork as worth less than someone else’s just because the artist is of a difference generation.
The truth is, some of those 30 under 30 lists include nepo babies, or those who come from wealth, or just lucky people who didn’t run into any of life’s hardships that may delay a person’s creative debut. It isn’t, by any means, a true measure of talent or ambition or worth. That being said, these lists never really bothered me and always seemed to be something used to generate a headline. What worries me much more is the pressure for older creatives to give up, or that there is some sort of invisible age cut off to give up your muse and move into finance. And the funny thing is, that pressure never comes from other people still cresting. It always comes from those who don’t.
So perhaps all this external pressure stems from jealously, or perhaps more likely regret? As we age, we do look at life differently, acting more carefully to avoid having major regrets. That being said, no one is responsible for soothing another person’s regret. And on top of everything, creativity doesn’t disappear. So when one person is urging another to give it up, what is really going on here? Is that first person seeking an excuse for no longer engaging in their craft?
I don’t know the answers. After all, I’m still out here creating. And instead of seeing it as a pipe dream that needs to die by a certain age, I see it as an intrinsic part of who I am. I am a creative, curious, and open person. And yes, it has taken time for me to understand that about myself, but it is something I know about myself to be true. And what is ageing if not a way for us to know ourselves better? With each year of life experience, we should be distilling, molding and growing and shaping, into our true selves. Encountering those with regrets or with arbitrary rules of life for other people tell me they are taking cues from outside themselves for who they should be in this world. And I don’t know about you, but I’d rather determine for myself who I am, as opposed to let others decide that for me.
So all of this is just to say, regardless of your age, keep creating in whatever time, medium, craft you enjoy. There’s no cut off date, no ‘mature thing to do’, no expectation to live up to. It’s your life. Life it on your terms. Create it.